But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I just had sex on a roof
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
