Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
