I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
He has the fingertips of a God
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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