I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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