Please, let me fuck your mom
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
