Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
