It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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