i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
