if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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