can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
