I hate your face
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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