I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
