wake up i wanna do it froggy style
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
