I want to walk on stilts...naked
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
