dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
