watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
