Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
