Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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