There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
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