Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
