You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
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