So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize