I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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