last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
