"it" just moved
My underwear smells like fireworks.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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