So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
