I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize