I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
a search helicopter?!
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
