I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
