i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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