You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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