I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Randomize
