My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
