No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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