Your face is a jimmy john
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
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