Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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