So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
