God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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