Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
