i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
