watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
