if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
