i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
you made out with another girl for some wings
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
