Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
