he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
