You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
My ass is underappreciated
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
