just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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