If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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