I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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