Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
