Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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