Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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