How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
