if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
