was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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