If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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