Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
organizing the empties. That sober.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
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