god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
How external is "for external use only"?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize