she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
