i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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