You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
