lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Sacagawea was the original milf.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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