never play flip cup with pint glasses
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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