My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
