Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
