i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
